Everyone is struggling with something in life; everyone has a battle to fight or a dramatic experience to share. Everyone is trying to survive, to grow up, to be loved. Some people are naturally stronger than others, and even if we face the exact same situation, we would react differently because each one of us offers an individual story.
In this society pre-set for winners, it is very common that we act like super heroes when everything is alright. We don't pay too much attention to those around us, we keep distance from people's problems and we move forward with our lives in a way like: "this is not gonna happen to me". We make plans, set goals, we prepare our minds for the big events, and in the blink of an eye, we watch our dreams fall apart. We lose our jobs unexpectedly, our love life gets off track, and we end up trapped in situations that change the game. Sometimes we fall, like in musical chairs; random health problems show up stealing our sleep: "what if this is really serious?"
Would that be karma?
Every time we - intentionally - do something good or bad to someone, we are sending a message to the Universe: cause and effect. Nobody leaves this world without payback.
This article is based on true facts. All names and locations were changed in order to preserve their identity.
************************************
This is how I met A. We both sat next to each other at the arrivals hall in the airport and apparently someone forgot to pick him up. On the phone he was smiling and joking: "that's fine, not a big deal. I'm sure you were super busy with guys on Grindr and you ended up forgetting about me haha, I'll get an Uber". After he hung up the phone his expression changed completely. He was staring at nothing and then he started to cry.
I was feeling bad for him so I offered a napkin from my sandwich. Who never felt so small when not treated equally or responsibly? He was still in tears for a couple of minutes when I voluntarily asked a stupid question: "Do you think you gonna need more napkins?"
He looked back at me like he was going to kill me... and we started to laugh out loud.
A was thirty-something years old, 5'8", a little chubby, cute face, with beautiful and expressive blue eyes. He was holding an anatomy book from Columbia University. Five minutes of conversations and we were like best friends - so many things in common (including the fact that we were neighbors).
On our way home he was opening his heart explaining the toxic relationship he was dealing with the past months. A was completely lost for this guy that I prefer to call J -- "J" for jackass. I couldn't get the real scenario until he pulled out his phone and showed me J's Instagram. I was in shock.
J was very basic, that type of muscle guy, surrounded by social climbing friends, those people who always look for convenient relationships, Insta-cross media: "let's tag each other and we're all gonna get more followers". One of those guys with self-esteem problems who needs to be accepted by a group, go to nice restaurants and post "incredible" pictures with fake smiles trying to tell the world how handsome, fancy and rich they are when in fact there is not much going on. They eat, go home and go on line, because they are not satiated enough. They do whatever they can to keep themselves busy because they fear silence, their own company.
The situation was very clear. A was treating J as a priority and J was treating A as plan B or just another contact from his list with uncountable fuck buddies. For some reason the muscle guy was manipulating the whole situation on his side sending mixed signals, making A believe they were moving toward a relationship - that would never happen. It is hard but we need to understand when is time to walk away, give to people the same importance they give to us: that's the secret.
Once, A and I decided to work out together and coincidentally J was at the gym with his friends. A's eyes were shining and he could barely breath when he saw his almost "boyfriend" lifting weights:
__ Hey, so nice to see you here, what a coincidence!
__ Sorry, who are you?
Yes, J pretended they didn't know each other. A understood the message and decided to step back in an apologetic way:
__ I'm so sorry. You look like someone... never mind, I was wrong. Have a nice day.
When A was leaving he could also hear J's friends gossiping:
__ Who is that guy?
__ Nobody, some queen asking how to use the machine.
__ How dare he? Oh my God! Did you see his body? He would need to run around Central Park a thousand times to lose that belly. Hahaha!
__ He's so 4.5. He will never be a 10.
__ Bitch, please! You are being nice with a 4.5.
Whatever position we are today, we need to be kind to people. Remember this is all temporary. The moment is our maker. Today we are on top of the game... tomorrow things could be very different.
I was out of my mind when A came and told me what had happened. I was feeling a deep anger burning inside me and I was trying to calm down and avoid a scene. A was totally wrecked, emotionally in pieces. It's not easy to be rejected in broad day light in front of everyone having your self-respect and self-appreciation wiped out. Some people can take years of a lifetime to recover. A and J never saw each other again.
But karma is a bitch! Four years later, a guy stepped in into the ER vomiting and about to pass out. The diagnosis: liver cancer due to excessive steroids and drugs. In addition, the patient was HIV positive, and the medications were not an effective treatment anymore since his liver was so damaged.
J was the patient.
A was the doctor.
A held J's hands and affirmed with conviction: __ You will be fine!
Beauty is power. Muscle is power until it wears away. We know how to take care of our bodies, but we are lost when it comes to our souls. Looks fade, but the defining moments of our lives we carry with us. Always. Time to practice kindness and compassion. Time to understand "what goes around comes around". It's cliche, nevertheless, it's the law of the Universe.
